Arlington International Racecourse, Arlington Heights, IL, Aug. 23-25

As the front end of a back-to-back McChump Tour, the 1996 Arlington International Festival of Racing and its jewel the Arlington Million offered surprisingly little in the way of stupidity to write about. Except that McChump #2 fell in love with the small animals in AP's petting zoo. We had the devil's own time dragging him away from the baby camel. (And that's all there is to this story.)