The 1995 McChump ??/365 Racing Tour

14 Exciting Tracks! 12 Thrilling Stories!

  • Turf Paradise, Jan 29, 1995
  • Rillito Downs, Tucson, AZ, Feb 5 (unpublished)

Taste of the Backside(tm): An occasional series dedicated to the critical review of that Last Frontier of Handicapping, the track cafeteria.

  • Sportsman's Park, Cicero, IL, February 18, 1995

A balmy late winter weekend in Chicago, and I stopped in on Saturday of Sportsman's opening weekend to test my handicapping skills.

  • El Comandante, Canovanas, P.R., March 19, 1995

Thanks to my always flexible personal schedule and an understanding boss, I was able to stretch a business trip to our plant in Puerto Rico out by an extra day and visit the El Comandante race course outside San Juan. A worthwhile trip, indeed.

  • La Plata County Fairgrounds, Durango, CO, June 24
  • Montana Sate Fairgrounds, Great Falls, Montana, July 1

I awake to a beautiful mountain sunrise in Durango, and a chilling down-to-earth realization: I am about to miss the first weekend of racing since Chicago's winter break.

  • Del Mar Racecourse, Del Mar, CA, Aug 12-13

The trip to Del Mar, the latest stop on the 1995 McChump Racing Tour, got started out auspiciously enough.

  • Arlington International Raccourse, Arlington Heights, IL, Aug 26-28

Million Weekend was planned as the Next Great ??/365 Racing Tour Outing. However, in traditional McChump fashion, no actual travel plans to Chicago were even contemplated until it was too late, when - much to the surprise of McChump #2 - the cost of an airline ticket was discovered to be sky high. So Million weekend went on as a one chump outing.

  • Prescott Downs, Prescott, AZ, Labor Day Weekend

"Cocktail?" (The traditional McChump greeting)

"Why yes! I believe so." (The traditional response).

"By the way, chump. While I'm here you'll have to show me that hand-fishing video."

  • Fairmount Park, Collinsville, IL, Sept 16
  • Hoosier Downs, Anderson, IN, Sept 17

It's not that I had anything against Hawthorne. It's just that you get tired of seeing the same old horses week in and week out. The challenge just isn't there - know what I mean?

  • Belmont Park, Elmont, NY, Nov 3-4

The Big McChump Breeder's Cup Expedition started out right enough, when McChump #2 called and woke me in my hotel room at 7:00 am Friday morning and informed me he was down in the lobby after an all night flight from Phoenix.

  • Chicago Stadium, Chicago, IL, Nov 16
  • Hawthorne Racecourse, Cicero, IL, Nov 18

While the McChump Racing Tour has spent most of 1995 asserting, in succinct prose, that racing is the Bestest and Funnest Form of Entertainment Known to Mankind, the hypothesis has never been subjected to critical objective analysis.

  • Hawthorne Racecourse, Cicero, IL, Nov xx

My eyes nearly bugged out of my head when I looked over the Saturday card at HAW. Not just one, not just two, but THREE! horses entered by that craftiest trainer in the tri-planet area, Dr. William W. Davis.